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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, I see this kid runnin’ towards the water, and I’m like, “No, no, no!” He slips and falls right into the waves. I’m thinkin’, “This kid’s gonna get swept away!” But his mom dives in, grabs him, and pulls him out. Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just relieved.

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